Ghost
My dearest,
I thought of you on the train while returning from a journey. I like to get an aisle seat on the plane but always a window seat on the train.
It was nearly 6 pm, dark sky, a sort of thin fog coated the land where everything turned yellow already.
In between the street lights when we pass from fields to cities, in between reality and illusion, I saw your face reflecting on the window glass. It was just a mere moment, but I saw you, like a ghost.
You are my ghost.
You are nothing much but a blurry image to me now. I start to have trouble picturing your face. I thought I'd be terrified, instead, I felt liberated.
The late autumn does it to the North what time does it to me, to us.
I'm going back to the South, my love, the place where we met, on one of the hottest days. It will still be warm, the leaves will still be green.
Not for long, not for long my love, because nothing stays.
But just for a second, even just for a mere moment only.
Words by me, firstly written in November 2019. Photos by Marsh.
Ottawa | National Gallery of Canada
You can't pick a better day to visit a museum or gallery when it's -28 outside.
National Gallery of Canada is on my "must visit" list. Not only for its art inside but the building itself, in my opinion, is a piece of Architecture art too.
I love the glass ceiling and the granite body of the building overall, but what caught my eyes was the entrance. It's a long slope that took quite a bit of energy for me to walk up (weak city legs), and as we walk, the lights came in through the glass windows between the pillars and shone over our faces. It was the last day of the year and even though it's incredibly cold outside, I felt the eternal warmth within.
Let's talking about Art
When I was entering the country in Montreal, the officer asked me why I would go to Ottawa, I told him I was going to see the big spider. Judging on the look in his face, I'm pretty sure he thought I have some mental issues.
But come on, how could you not know the big spider titled "Maman" by Louise Bourgeois?
I was just reading about her the other day and knew that she was also commissioned to do one big "Maman" in Bronze for the National Gallery of Canada. It was only when I stand in front of it that I felt the power of the artwork.
I don't particularly like the animal, let alone name it after someone so dear and so close, like my mom. But Louise said that she felt her mother like a spider, smart, strong and protective. She grew up in the house with her parents and her governess. It was later that she learned her dad's affair with her governess, and what broke her heart was that her mom knew all about it and tolerated the behavior. Louise was hurt by the betrayal and she couldn't understand her mother just then. But eventually, she tried and did understand her and started the creation of her series of the Spiders.
I wish it were something lighter, but art, be it higher than life, is always from life. And life is not always a bed of roses. But we deal with it, learn from it, and carry on. And sometimes, hopefully in the best scenario, create something meaningful and memorable out of it, just like what Louise did.
Let's talking about Culture
The National Gallery of Canada carries extraordinary collections of classical as well as contemporary art across Canada and around the world. But what made the most impression on me and still make me think till this day was the first pavilion we entered.
Even though #Canada150, we all know this rich land had hosts way before that. The Canadian and Indigenous art is something I like to know more about and the first thing I saw was a black and white documentary film on that subject.
One little detail, apart from English and French introduction texts on the wall, the first text was written in Indigenous language, I can't pronounce a word of it, but I like this kind of respect. For someone who's always curious and asking questions like "how did ancient people brush their teeth", I googled the whole story later that night and translated them into Chinese and wrote a post about it (Nerd).
Canadian address their indigenous "Aboriginal people", and their aboriginal people mainly are "First nations/ premieres nations", "Inuit" and "Metis".
What has been showing in a loop is a selection of documentaries about "Canadian Indian residential school system" created by four different film directors. The black and white images, mixed with yellowish faded spots caused by time, accused a cruel history.
The "Canadian Indian residential school system" was a boarding system established by the Canadian government in the purpose of "assimilation". According to the documentary, this type of boarding school has a very harsh, critical living conditions. Indigenous children were forced to stay away from their families and cut off the influence of their own culture. If they were found to speak their native language, they would be subjected to corporal punishment. Data shows that from the first indigenous boarding school built in 1879, until the closure of the last school in 1996, more than 6,000 "indigenous children" died.
We left speechless when the documentary ended. I always liked a movie based on true events, but definitely not this type of documentaries. It's heartbreaking.
As we walked out of the video room, I couldn't stop thinking about how close it is to us. The last school shut down in 1996, there must be survivors from the school, so I went deep to check all the documents and videos there are about the children who survived. It was really something heavy and I could not stop crying while watching. There are so many of them interviewed with their back to the camera. They were ashamed, they were hurt. I know life is not all about rainbows and unicorns, but I always have a problem accepting the dark side of the world. I only just watched it, they lived in it, and now they have to live with it.
When we were back on our way home, the sun sets in between the traffic lights, the moon rise, above the sun, and I'm happy, as heavy as it is, that history now is history, we remember and carry on with life, and hope for a better tomorrow. Or, in this case, a better brand new year.
All photos my own shot in Ottawa, Canada.